If you ever miss me

 If you ever miss me

Just remembered 

I am as far as you pushed me

As a final act of love...

 

As a final act of love... 

I will never reach you out again

but I will become everything I told you about

I won't chase you

I won't beg for your closure

Instead, I will pour all that LOVE into myself

I will build the life which I promised I will build with you

and may be one day, you will hear my name... and 

You will realize what walked away from you.

Do you remember it?

How Growth and Missing Someone Can Happen on the Same Day

 Today Didn’t Go As Planned

Today didn’t go the way I thought it would.

I had an interview. I walked in prepared, steady. But it didn’t unfold the way I had imagined. On the way back, instead of feeling defeated, I kept replaying it quietly.

And I saw something clearly.

Negotiation.

I hesitate when it’s time to claim my value. Not because I don’t know it but because I hold back at the final moment. That realization hit deeper than the outcome itself.

But here’s the good part once you see your weakness clearly, it stops controlling you.

Now it’s something I’ll sharpen.

I’ve started liking days like this. The ones that don’t go your way but reveal something about you. Maybe what didn’t happen today is simply redirecting me toward something better suited. I don’t fight delays anymore. I study them.

Still…

In the middle of all that thinking, there was a quiet moment where I instinctively thought of you.

Not in a dramatic way. Not in a way that stops my life. Just that simple reflex of wanting to say,

“Today didn’t go as planned… but I figured something out.”

And sometimes I wonder if you ever feel it too that sudden pull for no visible reason. That brief heaviness that comes and disappears before you can explain it.

Maybe you felt it today.

I don’t miss you loudly anymore. It’s subtler than that. It appears in small pauses when something almost important happens, when I learn something new, when I realize I’m becoming stronger than I was.

It surprises me how certain people don’t leave completely. They just change form.

Anyway.

Today didn’t go as planned.

But I learned.

I identified what needs work.

And I’ll come back stronger not louder, just stronger.

Some days push you.

Some days refine you.

And some days quietly remind you that certain connections don’t fade the way we expect them to.

I’ve stopped trying to explain that part.