Love and Heartbreak in the new India.

When a heartbreak happens it is so painful. That is a strange nature of pain, that heartbreak cause, in this, pain bearing person can't sleep, can't eat, don't feel good. He start thinking that he is a terrible person.

Heartbreak is rampantness in our country India. For all those of us who haven't had heartbreak yet missed out one of the most epic human experience is ever, am I right?

Many people in India suffers from depression and 20% of people commit suicide in this country because of heartbreak, more than 20,000 people the young men like you & me kill them selves because of heartbreak every year. 
It is a serious problem and many people don't kill themselves but make their life out of track, get addicted to drugs, start meaningless relationships, went emptiness into, and many people start hating love and romance.

Tell me what is the most important thing in the world? What is the one reason we are alive? 

It is to beloved and to love. To beloved and to love is something that money can never buy but it is something that is so essential to human happiness but because it is not entirely under our control we sometimes think it is not important. But we as a young we know its importance as we probably falling in love already and may have had heartbroken.

What happens in heartbreak, why it happens? In order to understand we must know what is the Love.

Love is an energy. You know what love is when you feel it but that is different kind of love. Their is love you feel for our mother,father,sister,brother,friend, for and objects and their is love you feel for a person and then the philosopher tell us there is deep unconditional, abiding love you can feel and that is not contagious to anything and when you connect with that deep love that is a part of everyone of us that you can never loose it because it is not dependent on someone else. Love does not need a catalyst it just need a connection with what we actually have inside of us, which is pure unadulterated, unconditional love. Now the fact is all of us whether we fell in love or not felt the bliss of love. You've experienced it although you didn't remember it in your mothers womb. You were not born but actually your brain was developed in 8 months womb, you can not see, you can not actually feel it the way you can feel now but we have experienced it. That umbilical cord was taking care of yours all the nutritious material was reaching you, all though you  didn't feel the need of it, because it was taking care of every need of yours so finely.
The fact is we all are born alone and have to die alone, we humans are the only species who know the fact of our future no other species on this earth is aware of their future fact.
You go through life and see someone, your eyes their eyes meet and some energy goes through,  you know you start to feel the air and leaves start to fly, something like that in our body.
Like Plato said, the Greek mythology, He said all human beings are cut into half ,we all are half male and female and we are cut into half and we spend our life time or many life times the rest of our life  in the search of to complete that other half. Psychologically that is true. That time we feel the third identity, the feeling of us, we feel like we are now complete but at the same time there is also a sense of insecurity. Who hasn't feel the insecurity? We feel insecurity because we need the other person to feel make us complete and sometimes unfortunately many people of us breakups.

And when we breakup it is really, psychologically as if a part of us have been imputed, as if a part of us have been cut, in fact neurologist  have done brain scans of the people who have been gone through the breakup and they found that was the same part of brain that is responsible of physical pain is activated in heartbreak. As far the brain is concerned Heartbreak is the same as if someone has stabbed in your heart mercilessly. other things happen endorphin level has been go down, in fact they have studied giving someone morphine and that takes away the pain of heartbreak because it is the real change in the chemicals in the brain. There is a part of brain that is stimulated when people use a drug to abuse like cocaine, it stimulates the part of brain called mesolymbic system which releases Dopamine and when Dopamine is release a neurochemical we feel pleasure, we feel a reward, Just like cocaine love, romantic love releases dopamine in the mesolymbic system. And so when we go through the heartbreak its like we feel we are cocaine addict, going through withdrawals seeking the drug and desiring that drug until we get that drug back. So heartbreak causes changes, amazing changes in the brain in facts in the body. People who have gone through the heartbreak their cortisol level rise up which is a stress hormone that decrease your immune system, infections got easily, heart rates goes up, blood pressure goes up, the blood vessels starts constricting, the stomach gets tight, the digestive system is completely in damages, all kinds of changes happen, in fact heartbreak is also known to break your heart literally it weakens the walls of heart, it start dilating out and people can actually die from heartbreak literally if someone goes through heartbreaks in a row. So heartbreak is serious, heartbreaks can kill.

 And it hurts and hurts thousands of people in this country (India) and across the world. And it is believed particularly in India, Indian young men and women goes through the heartbreaks because of our cultural history. We are not like the westerners, we are from a collectively society means each one of us define ourselves how other people treat us.
They have done studies for westerners when they look at the westerners is like a school of fish they described one particular fish where easterners look like they describe the whole school of fish. This is the way we see the world and so for us rejection hurts more deeply than westerners. We have variant of a gene that is called the serotonin transporting gene which makes us more susceptible to criticism, to disapproval, to rejection. The second thing is we never seen heartbreaks in our parents.
But this is the first generation which is dating more,going in romantic relationships, many of us are going to choose our own partners. And therefore we are the probably more susceptible to more heartbreaks than any previous generation in India.
But the good news is that you can use this heartbreak, this pain of heartbreak to get insight about yourself. A forgiveness is really important. If you forgive you take away your pain. First and most important thing is that act of forgiveness is the first and foremost is the act of strength of yours. No matters how badly other partner treated you, you are forgiving them because you are strong, you are matured. It hurts really hurts very hard there is no doubt. As long as you hold the anger it hurts you, the heart attacks, cancer, blood pressure etc. etc.
They hurts you because they are like that way you can't help in that. But, Forgiveness is your strength, it defines how strong you are. How mentally strong you are. It is going to help you.

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